


The Hangover - Supernatural style

by abitofarockyroad



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-02-18 04:06:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2334674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abitofarockyroad/pseuds/abitofarockyroad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dean and the reader wake up in bed next to each other, not remembering a thing about how they got there, a wild journey ensues revealing rather strange events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Cheery Chapel

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this is going to be a (hopefully) 6 part series. That’s how I’ve planned it out anyway xD I really hope it works, it was rather awkward to plan and stuff. This part is kind of short but I'm hoping they'll get longer as we go. Anywho, I hope you enjoy it! Now, I am moving house tomorrow for uni and my wifi isn’t getting connected until the 23rd *sob*. So it’s going to be after that when the next update it. Sorry about the delay! Enjoy! – Bella xxx

You wake up dazed and slightly confused. As you tried to sit up a painfully throbbing in your head intensified, making you wince involuntarily. Fumbling around on the bedside cabinet, you find a switch and flick the lights on. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to get used to the sudden brightness in the room. Once the pain isn’t too bad, you open your eyes and glance around the motel room you were in…which was not your motel room. Whose room were you in?! Looking around for an idea of where you were, you are suddenly aware of something very warm lying next to you. Now unless someone had gone all The Godfather on you and there was a horse head in your bed, someone was here with you. All you could see of them when you looked down hesitantly was their hand. They were completely covered by the sheet. You slowly pick up the corner of the sheet and in one swift movement, you pull it down revealing…

“Dean?!” You gasp in shock.

“Turn the lights off…” Dean mumbles in response, shielding his eyes.

“Dean we are in bed together and we…yup we are both naked.”

“What?!” Dean cries, sitting upright. He lifts up the sheet as if to confirm that he was indeed naked, then attempts to lift up your side of the sheet too.

“OHHHH no buddy.” You say quickly, grabbing the covers to stop him revealing anything. “I hardly think so."

“Oh come on. I’ve clearly seen you naked.” Dean protests, giving the covers another half-hearted tug. You slap his hand away and pull at the covers as you swing your legs out of bed. As you stand up you take the sheet with you and wrap it around yourself, successfully pulling it completely off Dean.

“Now I can protect my dignity.” You say with a chuckled as Dean yanks a pillow over his crotch.

“Dude. So not cool.”

“Is it just because its morning Dean or are you rather excited about naked me in bed?” You ask with a wink while you collect various items of clothing from around the room.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Dean mutters grouchily, following your example and slowly getting dressed. “Why do I have odd shoes…?”

“Dean if you’re trying to make a fashion statement I’m not one to interfere.” You reply distractedly while rummaging through your bag. You had successfully collected all of your clothes, but you desperately needed some asprin.

“No as in I mean one of these shoes is not mine…” Dean adds, holding up a tattered plimsoll.

“Do you remember what happened last night?” You ask hesitantly, when you actually try and think back to the night before and find your mind blank.

“Clearly not considering I have no clue where this fuckin shoe came from.”

“There’s something sticking out of your back pocket.” You tell Dean, pointing it out.

“Staring at my ass eh?” He asks, grabbing the card. You roll your eyes and sigh, walking round to stand next to Dean so you could both read what was on the card.

\----

*We hope you enjoyed your visit to Cheery Chapel!  
Tell your friends and get a 30% discount on your next service!  
BONUS!! Show this card to anybody at a Dunkin Donuts and get 1 donut free!*

\----

“Dean…Why do we have a business card for ‘Cheery Chapel’…?” You ask slowly.

“Arghjhkjgbn!” Dean cries.

“Dude what? Speak English yo.” You say impatiently. All Dean does as a response is point at your hand which, when you look, holds a shiny wedding ring. Deans cry of arghjhkjgbn is now understandable.

“I have one too!” Dean exclaims while you are busy yanking the gold band off your finger and throwing it across the room as if it was burning.

“Oh that’s how you’re going to treat our wedding ring is it?” He says, placing his hand on his hip and glaring at you. You sighs and walks over to pick up the ring, then instantly drop it.

“Hold on. I don’t give a damn how I treat our wedding ring. I don’t even remember getting married! And it sure as hell isn’t going to last!”

“How am I gunna tell Sammy..?” Dean murmurs to himself.

“Dean! It will not be an issue. We will not stay married for long ok!” You cry, throwing your hands up in the air in exasperation.

“Wow. Marriage changed you.” Dean says, glaring at you from across the room. “We are fighting more already.”  
“Look I’m sorry.” You say, deflating slightly. “I just didn’t expect to be married this way. I always wanted a big wedding with family and flowers and all that crap.” You say quietly.

“I’ll be a good husband to you.” Dean replies.

“I know Dean. I…wait hold the fuck up.” You say, reflating. “The fuck is wrong with you?! This isn’t a serious marriage!”

“No? No. Ok no. Not a serious marriage. We can get it annulled later.” Dean says, glancing at the bed. “Well…maybe…”

“God I’m gunna be a divorcee already. This is just swell.” You say, your head in your hands.

“Ok look maybe if we just go to the chapel we can work out from there what happened.” Dean says, walking over to you and putting his hand on your shoulder in an apparent attempt to comfort you.

“Alright.” You sigh, standing, grabbing your bag and heading for the door.

“So where are we going to honeymoon?” Dean asks as you leave the motel room and make your way to the car.

“Shut up Dean.”


	2. It's a nice day for a drag wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's part 2! Not sure when part 3 will be, but it shouldn't be too long. Hope you enjoy this part :)

“Oh come on, please?” Dean says for the umpteenth time.

“Dean we are not going to Dunkin Donuts.” You tell him again.

“The business card says we can get a free donut!” He protests, making a puppy dog face and looking over at you. 

“Can we just go to the damn chapel and find out what happened first? Then we can go to Dunkin Donuts. Maybe.” You say reluctantly, making sure he heard the maybe at the end.

“I think this is it…” Dean says, turning into the parking lot. The pair of you just sit and stare in complete, shocked silence. The Cheery Chapel was a sight to behold. It was painted entirely pink, and had huge statues of a bride, groom and vicar tied to the roof. The words ‘The Cheery Chapel’ were hung above the doorway in neon flashing lights. 

“Well we sure do have good taste.” You mutter, making Dean chuckle. You get out of the car slightly reluctantly, Dean following your lead. 

“You sure this is a good idea?” Dean asks as you walk up the pink pathway towards the pink building.

“No, but I figure we should probably work out what happened.” You say.

“Hang on a minute…” 

“What now?” You ask irritably, turning to face Dean who has frozen. You follow his gaze and see it was directed at a hot dog stand a few feet away from the supposed chapel. 

“Seriously Dean? We stopped for breakfast like 10 minutes ago.” 

“He has my shoe!” Dean exclaims, making a beeline for the hot dog vendor. You glance down at the man’s shoes and notice he has one tattered black plimsoll, and one, very loved, black DM. 

“Fuck me…” You sigh under your breath and begin walking towards Dean who is now confronting the apparent boot thief. 

“Hey! Dean! Buddy! How’s it goin?” The man says with a smile, opening his arms to welcome Dean. “Ah and your lovely wife is here too!”

“How do you know me? Why do you have my shoe?!” Dean asks, clearly thrown by the man’s enthusiasm. 

“Why Dean? Do you not remember?” The man asks. When Dean shakes his head, he continues. “You and your beautiful lady got married and came outside, saw me and asked for a hot dog. But Dean you couldn’t find your money so you traded me your shoe.”

“Why the hell would I give you my shoe?” Dean asks incredulously. 

“You said you come back tomorrow and pay me for the hotdogs. The shoe was a guarantee you would come back!” The man explains. Dean reluctantly reaches into his pocket and grabs a bill, throwing it onto the hot dog cart and holding out his hand. Within a minute the shoe is in Dean’s hand and quickly being put back onto his foot. 

“You traded your shoe for a hotdog.” You say, trying to stifle a laugh as you head towards the chapel again.

“Can we focus please?” Dean says, sounding thoroughly disgruntled. 

“On what? The fact you traded your shoe for a hotdog or the fact we apparently got married in a hot pink church?” You ask with a smirk. Dean rolls his eyes and continues striding towards the entrance, making it in before you. The inside was worse than the outside. It reminded you of Professor Umbridge’s office. Everywhere was pink and frilly. Every surface was covered in doilies and flowers, and the smell…the smell was so sickly sweet it made you want to gag.

“I don’t think I can stay in here…” Dean gasps, clearly effected by the overpowering odour as much as you. 

“Let’s just find someone who can tell us what happened.” You say, watching as Dean pulls the hem of his t-shirt up over his nose. 

“Excuse me.” You say, spotting a receptionist. “Can you tell me…” You start talking but trail off when your eyes scan the wall behind the desk. Similar to Umbridge’s wall of cat plates, this wall was covered in photos of couples. Then right, slap bang in the middle of all of them was a poster size photo of you and Dean. 

“Oh hey guys!” The receptionist exclaims in a cheery voice. Still staring at the photo, you’re too shocked to answer.

“I have a feeling I’m going to be pretty tired of this question by the end of the day, but you know who we are?” Dean asks warily, walking up to the desk. 

“Dean…” You say under your breath, pointing at the poster. 

“What. The. Fuck.” Dean murmurs. What the fuck was most definitely what you had been thinking when you saw the photo. The photo of what appeared to be your wedding ceremony. The photo of Dean in a stunning cream wedding dress and you in a James Bond style tux. 

“Dean. You look beautiful.” You laugh, your shock slowly turning into amusement. It isn’t long before tears stream down your face you are laughing so hard. 

“Urmm? Yes. I know you guys. You came in yesterday and had the best wedding we’ve had at this place since opening.” The receptionist answers, watching you laugh as if you were diseased. 

“Can I….I…I need a copy of that.” You managed to say through your laughs. 

“You actually had 12 copies made and put aside…” The receptionist says, reaching under the desk. “I thought that was why you were here?” 

“Actually we are here because we couldn’t actually remember last night.” Dean explains as you grab the photos and stuff them in your bag. 

“You did both seem quite out of it yesterday…” The receptionist muses, looking as if she is putting two and two together.

“Yeah pretty much. Look, do you know where we went after this?” Dean asks, glaring at you. The laughter just won’t stop.

“I don’t know exactly. You did leave shouting about a strip club though.” 

“Ok thank you.” Dean says, not sounding thankful at all as he flashes the woman a fake smile and drags you out of the chapel. 

“Oh god. Oh I’m dying. Dean help.” You gasp, clutching your sides. 

“Hey, I looked a fuck ton better in that dress than you would have.” Dean says pointedly. 

“Yeah well I pulled off the tux a hell of a lot better than you would have.” You shoot back, narrowing your eyes slightly. 

“Moving on. Is there anything in your bag about a strip club?” Dean asks, his ears slowly reddening when he sees the pile of photos in your bag. You rummage around for a while, finally pulling out a name badge. 

“It says Lil’ Demon on it.” You say, glancing at Dean. You flip over the name badge and see more writing. “The Sinful Strip Club.” You read. 

“Oh I know that place!” Dean exclaims. You look at him and raise your eyebrow.

You shake your head in mock disappointment. “You should be ashamed of yourself.” 

“Whatever.” Dean says, snatching the name badge out of your hands. “So this means that we either stole someone’s name badge, or you now work in a strip club.” 

“I would be an amazing stripper.” You say defensively, grabbing the name badge back and slipping it into your bag. “Shall we?” You ask, gesturing towards the car.

“Well it’s a little early for strippers but I guess we gotta do what we gotta do.” Dean says, grinning and jogging towards the car. You sigh and walk after him slowly, slightly disturbed at his enthusiasm. As you’re climbing into the car, you see Deans hand reach and tuck something into the waistband of your jeans. You sit down and shut the door, then pull the dollar bill out of your jeans.

“What this?” You ask, waving the bill in Dean’s face. He shrugs and glances at you, a cheeky glint in his eyes.

“Just practicing.” 

“Oh you bastard.” You say with a laugh, crumpling the note and throwing it at him, as you pull out of the car park of a church and head straight for a strip club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Check back soon for the next chapter. For more of our stuff head over to our tumblr abitofarockyroad.tumblr.com :)


	3. Lil Demon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's slightly later and slightly shorter than I had hoped, but enjoy part 3! :)

It doesn’t take long for you and Dean to get to the strip club. Still slightly disturbed at how easily Dean is able to find it. It makes you think this definitely isn’t the first time he’s come here. He tries to play it off as luck, failing to convince you that he’d only heard about this place from friends.

“Wait.” Dean says, just before you get to the door of the club.

“What?” You ask, turning to face him, your hand on the door handle.

“We can’t go in there.” Dean says, his face full of pure fear.

“Why not? It’s just a strip club.” You say with a shrug. 

“I just remembered this place is a…I mean…it’s no place for a lady.” He say half-heartedly, clearly realising how pathetic his argument was.

“No place for a lady my ass. Come on, don’t be a wuss.” Ignoring Dean’s desperate pleas, you pull open the door and stride inside. Within seconds, you realise why he didn’t want you in here.

Your eyes grow wide in shock as you glance around the club. On the closest stage to you was a cowboy. Assless leather chaps and a cowboy hat was all that they were wearing. Slightly further in was a police outfit. Tight black shorts, a bow tie and a hat all that they figured was necessary for the look. Looking further around you could some Rocky Horror themed gold hot pants, a cat which was slightly weird and lots and lots and lots of leather. 

The amusing thing was, every single one of the strippers was male. 

Literally, banana hammocks everywhere.

“Dean…” You say slowly, a wide smile spreading across your face as you turn to look at him. He is currently cowering by the door with his back to you, seeming to have adopted the phrase ‘if I can’t see her she can’t see me’.

“Dean this is a gay bar.” You say, trying to keep the laughter out of your voice. Before he has a chance to reply however, you hear a voice booming over the music. 

“DEAN! (Y/N)!” Both of you turn in the direction of the voice. You see a short, slightly rotund man weaving his way through bodies towards you. “How’s my lil demon?” He asks with a grin when he reaches you.

“Urmm? Ok I suppose?” You reply questionably. 

“What are you on about love?” The man asks, looking at you strangely. “He’s lil demon.” 

“Ah ok it makes sense now...” You say as the man gestures at Dean. 

“What’s going on with you two?” The man asks, clearly as confused as you and Dean.

“We are…having trouble remembering exactly what happened last night.” You say carefully, watching realisation dawn on the man’s face. 

“Oh this…this is spectacular…” He murmurs under his breath, before bursting into laughter. “Follow me.” 

“What’s going on?” You mouth at Dean, getting only a shrug in response as the pair of you follow this man into an office at the back of the bar. 

“Oh, if you don’t remember last night you won’t remember my name. I’m Crowley, I own this club.” He introduces himself, holding out his hand and shaking both yours and Deans.

“So what did happen last night?” You ask cautiously, sitting in one of the chairs opposite Crowley’s desk 

“I hired Dean.” He says simply, a small smirk on his face. 

“Why?!” Dean asks, his voice full of confusion. 

“Because you gave one of the best strip teases I’d ever seen.” Crowley replies, as if you’d asked an incredibly stupid question. “I filmed it.” 

“You filmed…Crowley you are quickly moving your way up my list of favourite people.” You say with a grin, dashing round the desk to look at the computer screen. You are greeted with a beautiful image. 

The room is filled with the sounds of Right Said Fred’s ‘I’m Too Sexy’. There is a single spotlight, illuminating Dean on one of the stages. There is a beer in his left hand, a veil in his right. As the songs intro builds, Dean downs his drink and throws the bottle on the floor, the veil quickly following. As the lyrics start, Dean sways his hips rhythmically in time to the music. He slowly leans down and lifts the hem of the dress, revealing stockings. Slowly, he unbuckles them from the garter and pulls them off, throwing them into the eager crowd. Next, his hands reach round to the back of the wedding dress, and in one swift movement he undoes the ribbon holding the corset together. One sleeve of the dress is slid off, the other soon after. Then Dean turns, his ass to the camera. Slowly, he pulls the dress down over his body, his hips gyrating as the soft fabric crumples to the floor. He is now in only a single pair of silk panties and a garter belt. It doesn’t stop there however, oh now. Dean turns and his eyes fix on the pole running from the ceiling to the middle of the stage. He strides…no…he struts towards it, his hips swaying in time to the music. Once at the pole he wraps one leg around it and spins, grinding his body against the cold metal. As he leans back, a man leans forward and tucks a bill into the waistband of Dean’s underwear. A drunken smile spreads across Deans face as he leans towards the man and

“ENOUGH” Dean shouts, lunging at the laptop and slamming it shut. 

“Buzz kill.” 

“I’m not working here.” Dean says simply.

“Oh yes you are. You signed a contract, your soul is mine mate.” Crowley says, holding up the apparent contract. 

“Well Dean looks like you have a side job. I hear this line of work pays surprisingly well.”

“Shut up.” Dean says, glaring at you. 

“I’m sorry Crowley but I was hammered and had no fucking clue what I was signing.” 

“I’m a reasonable man. I’m sure we can find some way sort this out.” Crowley muses, staring Dean down. 

“What did you have in mind?” Dean asks cautiously, now glancing at you in concern. 

“So you’re standing in for his bartender for two weeks?” You ask as you and Dean leave the club 10 minutes later.

“Yup.” 

“Well what’s wrong with that?”

“The uniform is tanga briefs and a cowboy hat.” Dean replies simply, getting into the impala.

“Ok I am so coming here when you’re working. Oh god damn as if the strip tease wasn’t enough.” You say gleefully, getting into the car with Dean. “So where too now batman?”

“Crowley said he gave me a discount to his mates tattoo place before we left so I figure we should go there.” Dean explains, handing you a card before starting the car and driving off.

*If you have skin, I’ll ink it.  
Ash’s Tattoo Parlour  
Bring me beer, get a discount*

“So one of us got a tattoo?” You mutter, putting the card down and beginning to inspect your body. 

“My ass really itches…” Dean says suddenly, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Then it clicks.

“Dean…” 

“Did I…I can’t have…” 

“Fuck me.” You say, bursting into hysterical laughter. Dean steps on the gas, clearly as eager as you to see exactly what he’d had tattooed on his ass. However you have a feeling while you were excited, Dean was dreading it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it guys. Check out our tumblr abitofarockyroad.tumblr.com for more of our stuff :) xx


	4. Cas, get off my ass!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so so so so sorry for the delay! I’ve started uni and everything has been manic so I haven’t had much time for writing. I hope you like the newest addition now its finally here though! xD - Bella xxx

“You cannot tell anyone about this.” Dean says, finally breaking the silence that had filled the car since you worked out the tattoo.

“Oh…bear with. I’m getting a call.” You say, grinning and grabbing your phone. “Hi Sam? You got my text yeah? I don’t know what it is, all we know is that it’s on his ass.”

“YOU TOLD SAM?!” Dean shouts, involuntarily swerving the car as he tries to reach for the phone.

“Shh…I’m talking.” You say, wagging your finger disapprovingly at a now very grumpy Dean.

“Bitch.”

“SO. Sam. Sorry about that, your brother had a minor seizure but order has been restored. Nah I have no clue what it is. I would have bet on tramp stamp but its lower unfortunately….yeah….ok you know what, 20 bucks says it’s of the impala. Dude there is no way Dean got a tattoo of pie over the impala…”

“Are you betting on what my tattoo is?” Dean asks incredulously.

“Yeah, you want in?” 

“No I don’t want in!”

“Oh come on, just think of something else you love besides the car and pie, that’ll be a pretty good guess.” You stare at Dean for a second, who is staying silent and glaring at the road ahead of him. “No? Alright, your loss. Sam, Dean’s out. Boring right. Anyways, I have another call so I’ll phone you as soon as I know what it is ok. I’m gunna be 20 bucks richer I’m tellin you. Alright talk later.”

“I can’t believe you two…” Dean grumbles.

“Hang on, I have another call.” You say, cutting Dean off.

“Hello? Jo! Hey!”

“I swear to fuck if she knows too…”

“Oh Jo, Dean says hi. I mean, not exactly in those words but I paraphrased.” 

“How many people have you told?”

“Dean honey I’m on the phone. Oh only about 7…8 maybe?” 

“I could drive this car into that tree and end this all…” Dean muses quietly as you continue your conversation with Jo.

“Yeah on his ass. We dunno yet. We are on our way to the tattoo place. Me and Sam have a bet going if you want a piece of this. I’ve got 20 bucks on Impala tattoo, Sam has the same money on a pie tattoo. What do you think…oh interesting….very interesting. Yeah I’ll definitely add that to the list.” 

“What does she think?” Dean asks urgently.

“Ok Jo I gotta go, yeah you’ll know as soon as I do. Okie doke. Bye hun.”

“What did she think?!”

“Castiel.”

“Pardon?”

“She reckons you got Castiel’s name on your ass.”

“Why would I do that?” Dean asks, suddenly very red in the face and very defensive. 

“Noooo idea.” You reply, rolling your eyes.

“Is this it?” Dean asks, slowly slightly.

“Yeah! This is it!”

As soon as you pull to a stop outside Ash’s tattoo parlour you grab Dean’s jeans.

“Woah, steady on.” He says quickly, pushing your hands off him.

“I wanna see your arse.” You protest.

“Get in line.” Dean replies, sliding out of the car and making a beeline for the building before you can make another grab for his trousers. As the pair of you burst through the door, a guy with a spectacular mullet bounds towards you.

“Dean! (y/n)! How’s it goin?” He asks, pulling both of you in for a hug. 

“It’s great guy who I’ve never met before.” 

“You don’t remember me?” The guy asks, clearly upset. 

“Should we?” Dean asks.

“Well considering I was the one who tattooed your ass yesterday I would say so.”

“Are you Ash?” You ask, finally putting things together.

“At your service. Were you guys seriously that wasted last night you don’t remember me?” Ash asks with a laugh, then laughing even more when you and Dean nod. “Excellent. Then I am assuming you don’t remember what you got a tattoo of?”

“I’m slightly scared to look.” Dean offers as an answer. 

“I have to say,” Ash says, turning to you. “I was surprised you would let your husband get a tattoo of another guy’s face on his ass. Now I know you were drunk it makes a bit more sense.” 

“Wait hold on. He got a guy’s face tattooed on his ass?”

“I got a guy’s face tattooed on my ass?!” Dean practically shouts, unbuckling his jeans and pulling them down at the back to reveal the tattoo. 

“Oh good god…” You say in complete shock. When you looked at Dean’s ass, Cas was staring back at you. 

“What is it?! I can’t see!” Dean says frantically, leaning back awkwardly to try and get a glimpse. 

“You…it’s…I…” you try and say, but your words are cancelled out completely by your manic laughter. Tears are streaming down your face and all Dean can do is panic. 

“Mirror?” Ash offers, pointing Dean towards the corner of the room. Dean runs over and turns, gazing at his new, beautiful tattoo.

"(y/n)?"

“Yes Dean?”

“Why do I have a tattoo of Cas on my ass…?” he asks, considerably calmer than you had expected. 

“I guess drunk Dean is fully in touch with his homosexual side that’s full of a burning passion for the hunky angel.” You answer, bursting into laughter again when Dean goes bright red. 

“Dean did you call me?” You hear from behind you. “Why is there a tattoo of my face on your rear?” 

“CAS.” Dean shouts, jumping around to face him and pulling up his trousers in the process. 

“Oh god this day just keeps getting better and better.” You mutter under your breath in pure delight.

“Oh so this is the guy I tattooed on your ass. I must say I think I did pretty well.” Ash says, examining Cas closely. “Where the fuck did you come from?!”

“Illusions Ash. He’s a magician.” You say, not expecting it to work in the least. Thankfully, after a couple of seconds in deep thought Ash nods. “Ah shit.” You say suddenly. 

“What?” Cas asks you.

“Jo was the closest…me and Sam owe her 20. Damn it.” 

“I don’t understand…” Cas says, glancing back at Dean.

“I wouldn’t expect you to.” You say gently, patting Cas on the shoulder. “Ash I don’t suppose you know what we did after Dean got his gorgeous tattoo?” 

“I dunno. You said something about a motel and a penguin, that’s all I remember. I was pretty drunk last night too.” 

“You were drunk and you gave me a tattoo?!” Dean asks in horror, pulling his jeans back up and storming over to Ash. 

“Hey now, doesn’t that make the high quality even more impressive. You got your monies worth my friend.” Ash says, looking rather proud of himself. 

“Let’s go.” Dean grumbles, storming out of the door without looking back.

“(y/n)?” Cas says gently.

“Yeah Cas?”

“Why is my face on Dean’s rear?” 

“Oh hun…you’ll find out soon enough. Zap away somewhere now.” With a gentle swish, Cas disappears. “Oh how confused he is going to be.” 

“No offense love, but I think your husband works it John Barrowman style with the magician bloke.” Ash pipes up as you head for the door. Thankfully he had had his back turned and 

“Yeah…we are getting a divorce pretty soon don’t worry.” You reply with a chuckle. “Thanks for everything Ash.”

You walk out the door and find Dean standing next to the door waiting for you.

“You’re not gunna tell anyone?” He asks immediately. 

“Hang on a sec Dean.” You say, holding up your finger and speaking into your phone. “Sam? Jo was bloody right!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Check back soon for the next chapter. For more of our stuff head over to our tumblr abitofarockyroad.tumblr.com :)


	5. Grand Theft Penguin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies this took so long! I had no clue where I wanted to go with this part and it took ages for me to build up the motivation to actually write it. I hope you enjoy it now it's finally posted :) Only one more chapter to go then its all done! - Bella xxx

“Lemme see it again.” 

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please with Cas on top?” 

“(Y/N) I am not letting you see the tattoo again.” Dean says with a sigh, not taking his eyes off the road.

“Why?” You ask, staring at Dean with wide puppy dog’s eyes and a pouty lip.

“Because you’ll take a photo of it and send it to everyone.”

“You know me too well…” You reply, sighing dramatically and flopping back against the car seat. 

“I need a nap.” Dean sighs, pulling into the motel car park and coming to a stop in front of your room. “And some hard liquor.”

“I feel you bro. How bout you change into something more comfortable.”

“I am not removing any clothing anywhere near you.” Dean says, backing towards the door so his ass isn’t exposed. 

“You’re no fun. Would it make it easier for you if I played a bit of Right Said Fred?” You ask, following Dean through the door of the motel.

“You do remember I carry a gun?” 

“Awwh you wouldn’t hurt me. You’re a big ol’ teddy. A big…ol’…homosexual teddy.” 

“I swear to…” Dean starts, but seems to think better of it. He just turns his back to you and falls onto his bed, staying silent. You laugh and grab the TV remote, flicking on the news to have playing in the background while you do some reading. The news reporter flits between stories which don’t interest you in the slightest, so you slowly stop paying attention. 

*We have also heard from the local zoo that one of their penguins has actually been stolen*

Your eyes flick to the screen when you hear this. Dean stands and walks into the bathroom completely oblivious to the video on the screen of his face. 

*The two thieves were luckily caught on camera and appeared to be drunk. The woman was in what looks like a man’s suit, and the man was in a white wedding dress.*

“(y/n)” Dean says from the bathroom.

“Hang on!” You call back, staring intently at the TV.

“(Y/N)!!!” Dean shouts. 

“WHAT?” You scream back. Before Dean can answer though the bathroom door swings open and Dean sprints out followed by a very angry penguin. 

“WHY THE FUCK WAS THERE A PENGUIN IN OUR BATH.” He screams while the penguin chases him around the motel room. 

“We stole it from the zoo.” You say in a very matter of fact voice, watching you and Dean on the news jump into the penguin enclosure and stuff a penguin into a bag. 

“WHAT. HELP ME.” Dean screams. You look up and see him crouching on top of the table, the penguin desperately trying to reach him. 

“He likes you.” You say, laughing at Dean’s panic stricken face. 

“Will you PLEASE get rid of the damn penguin!” 

“What the hell is so bad about this penguin?” You ask, hopping off your bed and walking to the fridge. 

“I don’t like penguins ok…”

“Why?!” You ask incredulously.

“The penguin in batman freaked me out when I was younger…”

“You are ridiculous.”

“Just get rid of the penguin!” 

“Fine. You big baby.” You grab some food out of the fridge and sit down a little back from the penguin. You lay out the various foods in front of you and whistle to try get the penguins attention. It turns and waddles towards you, seeming to inspect the spread you’ve laid out for it. You stand and leave it to the food and walk over to Dean who is still crouching on the table. 

“Christ. I barely made it out with my life there.” You say, rolling your eyes as Dean cautiously climbs down. “You seemed fine with the penguin yesterday when we grabbed it from the zoo.” 

“Yeah well…I was drunk.” 

“We should probably get it back somehow…” You say, watching the penguin.

“I’m not dealing with it.” Dean says, scooting around the outside of the room and keeping as much distance between himself and the penguin so he can reach his bed. 

“Well they got our pictures on the news! How are we supposed to deal with it?!” 

“Use your initiative.” Dean says, laying on the bed and closing his eyes. 

“Are you going to sleep!?” 

“Yeah. Screw consciousness. Get rid of the damn penguin would ya.”

“You’re such an idiot.” Dean doesn’t reply however because within seconds of putting his head on the pillow he is snoring. With a sigh you grab your phone and dial. “Sam? Hey. I need to ask a favour.” 

Around 15 minutes later you hear a knock on the door. Jumping up you open it and reveal Sam looking mildly concerned. 

“Hey, what’s up?” He asks.

“I don’t suppose you saw the news today?” You ask, moving aside so he can walk into your room. 

“No, why? What happ…why is there a penguin on the floor.” 

“That’s kinda why I asked you to come over…We may or may not have stolen it from the zoo during our night out…”

“You stole….You…What the fuck.” Sam says, sitting down to stare at the penguin some more. “Wait…I thought Dean was scared of penguins?”

“Oh he is. He just spent 10 minutes being chased by it and is not having a nap to recover from the trauma.” You explain.

“Ah ok that makes more sense.” He says, nodding. “What do you want me to do about it?” 

“Well I can’t do anything, they have our pictures on the news. I was kinda hoping you could call the hotline and tell them you found the penguin while we hide in the bathroom…”

“Right. Well. This should be interesting. Better wake the penguin-phobe in a bit.” Sam says, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

“I’m on it.” You say, picking up the penguin. Surprisingly it doesn’t seem to mind being carried over to Dean’s bed and being held in front of his face. “Wakey wakey Deany pie.” You sing softly, watching as Dean shifts, opens his eyes, screams and rolls back off his bed onto the floor.

“I hate you.” You hear from the floor.

“Come on dipshit. We need to hide in the bathroom.” You say, putting the penguin on Dean’s bed where it promptly lies down and goes to sleep. 

“Why?”

“Sam’s calling the zoo to tell them he found the penguin. We were filmed stealing said penguin so it’s probably best for everyone if we hide.” You explain, pulling Dean up off the floor and pushing him into the bathroom, shutting the door behind you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Check back soon for the next chapter. For more of our stuff head over to our tumblr abitofarockyroad.tumblr.com :)


	6. Part 6: …and they all lived happily ever after. Kinda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry this took so long for me to upload. I have been ridiculously busy recently. Not much new happens in this chapter, its just a kind of summary to round things off nicely. I hope you enjoy it anyway. I’ve loved writing this fic and I hope you loved reading it! Xox

“Is it gone?” Dean asks, peering round the door of the bathroom once the voices from outside have stopped.

“Yes idiot the scary penguin is on its way back to the zoo.” Sam calls. You and Dean walk out the bathroom and collapse onto your beds. 

“We fucking stole a penguin…” You say with a laugh, still not quite believing everything that had happened last night.

“Alright. Let’s here the story. From the beginning.” Sam requests, staring at you and Dean with eager eyes.

“Ok.” You start, smiling at Dean’s stroppy face. “We started off at a bar. I’m not entirely sure when it started getting messy, but once it was messy it got real bad real quick.”

“Do we have to relive this now?” Dean moans, rolling over and pressing his face into his pillow.

“Yeah. It’ll be fun.” Sam says, turning back to you. “Then what?” 

“Then we went to The Cheery Chapel…” You say, laughing at the slightly muffles noises of disgruntlement coming from Dean. “It was a lovely ceremony Sam. Me in a well cut black tuxedo. Dean in a gorgeous ivory wedding dress. It had a sweetheart neckline and everything.”

“There are photos of this yes?” Sam asks, interrupting. 

“OH yes of course.” You reply with a grin before continuing your story. “After the wedding we headed out and Dean was hungry. So he traded his shoe for a hotdog. As you do.”  
“It was a good hotdog.” Dean says into the pillow, making you and Sam laugh.

“After Dean’s apparently lovely hotdog we hit the strip club. A gay strip club. Where Dean got a job. Under the name Lil’ Devil. Which personally I think we should start calling him permanently. Ah man, I need to get a copy of the video. Dean did a strip tease and everything. It was beautiful. He did sign a contract though so to pay it off he has to work behind the bar in the gay strip club.”

“That’s not too bad. You’ve worked a bar before.” Sam says, looking at Dean. Dean however, glares.

“Tell him what the uniform is.” You say, smirking. Sam looks at you, his eyes lighting up.

“What’s the uniform?” He asks.

“Tanga briefs and a cowboy hat.” Dean says reluctantly, flushing red when you and Sam burst into laughter. 

“Oh god. You need to show me where this place is and I need to take a camera.” Sam says, wiping tears from his eyes. 

“Lordy. Ok so after that we headed to the tattoo parlour. You know this part. Dean, wanna show him?” 

“No.”

“Oh come on!” Sam whines. Then he glances at you. “I’ll hold him down, you expose the butt.”

“GO!” You shout. Sam lunges on top of Dean and pins him to the bed. Dean wriggles frantically but Sam’s strong arms keep him still. Still enough for you to yank at his jeans and reveal the top of his ass and the tattoo.

“It’s beautiful.” Sam snorts. Dean has stopped moving now, realising that struggling is pointless. “It’s so lifelike.”

“He can’t really deny anything now.” You reply thoughtfully. 

“Deny what? Tell me!” Dean demands, twisting on the bed to look up at you.

“As if you haven’t worked it out yet.” You say, rolling your eyes. “Dude you’re so in love with Cas it hurts.” 

“It’s true.” Sam says, nodding along. 

“I am not!” Dean protests, finally getting free from Sam. He jumps off the bed and indignantly pulls his jeans back up.

“Dude you got his face tattooed on you. If that doesn’t prove it I don’t know what does. You’re just so far in the closet you’re having tea with Mr Tumnus.” You say.

“Who?” Dean asks, looking confused.

“Narnia? Really?” Sam says, sitting back down. “What next?”

“That’s about it. We left the tattoo place, came back here, found the penguin and called you. Nothing else of any interest happened.” 

“Shit. You guys had a wild night.” Sam says slowly. “You know…I was pretty drunk too last night. I passed out too. I think I remember what happened before you guys left for the chapel…” 

“Really?!” You say, leaning forward in your chair. 

“Yeah. I remember meeting you at the bar. You were already smashed by then. You probably don’t even remember me arriving.” 

“Can’t say I do.” Dean says.

“Urmm…we all drank for ages. Dean did a bit of karaoke. He did Heat of the Moment, Asia. Bad memories, I think you did it on purpose asshole. It was shocking though. Like seriously man you should be ashamed of yourself, ruining such a classic. After that…” Sam pauses for a while thinking. “We came back to the motel. Yeah because I was sitting here and…” 

“And what?” You ask, watching Sam’s face light up.

“And you two started making out.” 

“Pardon.” 

“Yeah. We were watching Sleepless in Seattle and you guys acted out the end scene, then started making out.” Sam says, an ear to ear grin stretched across his face.

“Did you…did we…urmm…” You say slowly, not being able to quite find the words you were looking for. 

“Oh yeah.” Sam says, nodding his head vigorously. 

“Oh god.” Dean says, finally talking. 

“Yeah. Oh god it’s all coming back to me now.” Sam says, standing up and clapping out of excitement. “I could hear you from next door. There was about 10 minutes of frantic thudding of the headboard against the wall and then (y/n) spoke.” 

“What did I say…” You ask, not quite wanting to know. Sam only laughs in response.

“What did she say Sam?” Dean asks, his voice serious.

“She says ‘Look, lots of drunk guys can’t do it. It’s fine. It’s just not gunna happen.’” 

“YOU COULDN’T GET IT UP!” You cry, laughing manically and clapping your hands like a seal. “Oh god that’s priceless.” 

“Hey. Maybe you just didn’t turn me on.” Dean says defensively, how cheeks burning red.

“Oh honey. Look at me. We both know that wasn’t the problem.” You reply with another laugh. 

“You know what. Screw all of you. I’m going to bed.” Dean says, throwing himself into the bed and pulling the sheets over the top of him just about covering his face.

“Awwh. Baby is throwing a wobbly.” You say with a laugh, followed by a yawn. Without you realising it had gotten dark outside.

“Maybe we should go to bed.” Sam says, glancing out the window.

“It’s been a long day. We can start looking for a new case tomorrow.” You say, yawning again as you climb into your bed. You watch as Sam falls into his bed, then close your eyes. Although you couldn’t really remember it, last night had been one of the best nights of your life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more of our stuff head over to our tumblr abitofarockyroad.tumblr.com :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Check back soon for the next chapter. For more of our stuff head over to our tumblr abitofarockyroad.tumblr.com :)


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